“You can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself first.”, I know plenty of people who deeply and romantically care about a person but don’t quite like themselves all too much. But what I find is that their relationships tend to be problematic. For example, they may settle for abusive relationships because they don’t think they’re deserving of more. Or they may take out their insecurities on their partner making it an unhealthy relationship.
EXACTLY. If you don’t love yourself, you won’t respect yourself enough to be in a good relationship because you don’t think you deserve it.
Or you think what you have is all anyone will ever be willing to give you.
A couple points I thought were important
ofcourse, this isn’t the case for every single person in the world. relationships are more complicated than that, but research has shown again and again how low self esteem effects relationships for the worse and also just the quality of your life for the worse. here’s an interesting book on that. I notice a lot of people with healthy relationships with low self-esteem feel like they’re undeserving of it and that in of itself is problematic.
self-love isn’t the same as narcissism. they are two vastly different things. self-love also isn’t about facials and pampering yourself. it’s about learning to accept who you are as a human being. it’s about quieting the inner critic inside of you and realizing that you are worthy and deserving of good things in life. here’s a website that maybe helpful
NO just because you can’t seem to love yourself doesn’t mean that you will never find a good partner. Not at all. It just means that perhaps you should work on yourself first and find happiness in your own company before seeking it out from someone else. We can’t control how other people behave and will find ourselves disappointed more often than not if we rely on external sources. Afterall, one of the paradoxes in life is that you find the perfect person when you are happily single.
public high school things
•naruto kids
•kids punching windows
•kahoot
•"miss…..miss……c'mon"
•leaks coming from everywhere
•screams from every direction
•jeopardy review games •chicken nuggets that are orange and all the same shape •people fighting for no reason •couples who make out in the hallway like they’re never gonna see each other again •those kids who take the bathroom pass and disappear for half of class
•clapping in the middle of lunch for no reason? •only going to the homecoming game •being embarrassed by the student art in the hall •that one teacher that no one calls mr./Mrs./miss/etc but instead just their last name •hearing yelling from other classrooms and wondering wtf is going on????
- People who stop in the middle of the goddamn hallway - That one kid who always has a winter coat on no matter what - ‘Gay table’ - Kids who rap/blast rap music in the hallway - “—– Please take off your hood/hat.” - The bell doesn’t dismiss you I do - We still have 3 minutes left don’t pack up yet or you’re getting a detention - Mysterious ceiling stains - Smoke coming out of the bathroom -People who skip class and hide in the bathroom all period instead of leaving
those 3 kids who everyone knows are drug dealers
the secretary who is Tired
finding outdated memes printed out and pinned to the walls in teacher offices (ex: condescending willy wonka: “oh so that OTHER teacher didn’t give you homework?? i see”)
singing songs u learned in middle school language classes
the end of class is whenever someone shuffles their papers into a binder or moves their backpack, everyone else will follow like some freaky instinctual mimicry shit
the program who paid for my expenses to study in NYC for 9 months paid me 3 months in advance but now theyre charging the value of the month that i left the united states to come back to brazil cause apparently i “came back too early” even tho my FRIENDS have been signing me in as a guest for the past 14 days cause my DORM literally kicked me out and i couldnt stay any longer and thats how unprofessional these programs are. i even had a beyoncé concert to go that i paid w the last of my cents but didnt attend it cause i had to come back to brasil or else id starve.
now i have 4 days to pay them the money or else they will charge everything they invested on me which is around 70k dollars (LMAO??)
i been trying to save money for the past 20 days so i wouldnt have to annoy u guys but what i earn is not a lot and when i go out is usually cause my friends paid for everything so… if you wanna help my ass not to get sued or something for not paying that absurd amount
my paypal is j.freitasteixeira@gmail.com (im pretty sure paypal only allows me to receive money if you send it as a gift)
Growing up in an abusive household is a fucking trip dude……If you’ve never had someone angrily wash a dish at you or fold a sock in your direction then how are you gonna understand why I get nervous when you quietly do the laundry, or why I ask “are you mad at me?” when you set the bag of groceries down too hard? It’s a totally different way of living and it impacts you long after you’ve left the situation.
This is so important.
Abused kids speak a language you can’t learn
My heart races when I hear someone sigh and then the adrenaline takes forever to wear off. I hate having these reactions even when I know I am safe.
@ my friends who relate to this: please feel free to ask me for confirmation at any time that we are ok. i won’t get mad. go ahead and test me, try it out, prove it. however many times you need to hear me go “huh? nah, all’s well!” is however many times i’ll say it.
and i promise that if we are not ok i’ll be honest about that too, and it won’t be the end of the world. i may go like “meh, i’m actually pretty grumpy right now about [thing]” and you can be like “sorry i will fix [thing]” and i will be like “thank you i appreciate”and then we’ll be ok again. i won’t hold a grudge and i definitely will not angrily fold a sock at you.
again, as many times as this needs to happen, i’m up for that. i love you and i’m in it for the long haul. our friendship is worth it.
